I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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