my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
