I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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