i think i have two assholes
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
