she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
