I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
