i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
