Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
