then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
