You're so nebulous sometimes
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
