mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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