Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
