Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
