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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys

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• (949): View more from California

  Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Did it finish?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff

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• (530): View more from California

  it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.

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