Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
