i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
