I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
