Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
