What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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