If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
