i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
