i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
