it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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