No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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