What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she smelled like a LAN party
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
