How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
