you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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