Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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