Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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