Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
did i walk over a car last night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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