four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
