spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
