I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
