I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
