My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
