ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this just has baby written all over it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
