Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
