is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
