Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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