You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
