What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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