But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
