My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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