Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
