I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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