Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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