also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
