I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
