2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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