dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
